TIGblogs - Gilbert NDAHAYO

Good Friday, I'm sitting in my room somewhere in Springfield, Missouri... far from my countryland. I deeply reflect on issues going on with my 80 min film "Behind this convent".
Back in Rwanda, someone I do not know was watching it as well. She immediately emailed me, "Gilbert, I thought your film looks very powerful and I thought of the irony that I was watching it on Good Friday." But she goes on, "I wondered one small thing where in the beginning the person is saying "after 13 years I want to know" and he says "Mbabarira", like, "I'm sorry but I want to know..." and to me, even the fact that he uses the words "mbabarira" to the genocidaires is something powerful, because his language is very polite. I wonder if that can be included in the subtitles..."

The thing that the viewer did not know is that I, the filmmaker, was the one confronting my parents' killer.

This picture below is the only vivid, physical and visual representation I have with my parents alive. It was their last picture taken by Easter 1994. I was told, "your parents are on this photo. You look like your mother." No one can understand the pain it caused me when for the first time, I saw it and struggle to guess who among these people were my parents. "I know them, I know them, no one knows them better than I do. I am their first born son." The same night, I had to seriously face my young brother Sauveur. He said, "How can that be? You do not know." I could not cry in front of him. How can a six years old boy understand a genocide? How can I teach him without creating pain and hatred in him?

Now that today, I know my parents on the photo yet I knew them. Now, I know that I, once upon a time, I have lived with my parents and I had a family and I did not come from the sky or born out of a tree. I am so happy about that but again, the smile is wiped away by the sad reality and haunting statistics of the dead: on this photo, how many who survived the genocide?

In 1994, the Easter was hi-jacked in Rwanda. Monday Easter, following an attack, I run to hide in some swamps in a place called "mu gishanga", the current industrial park. For two days, I was in their, in the waters, never afraid of the electric ports. My father's killer responding to a question by a public on his view as a Christian said "the priests did not give us good education and example to follow. We should not have killed..."

All members of my "African" family were christians. I was baptized and received all the sacraments. Those who came to kill us were christians too. They hunted us down with spears, arrows and grenades. On April 10th, 1994, they stormed a convent and took about 200 tutsi who sought refuge in there. Then, the hutu killers took them behind the convent in our home and proceeded to take their lives. My mother and these 200 people were hit with nail-clubs and hacked with machetes before they were thrown into a pit.

Then, the killers burnt down my home with fuel and inflamed the pit. If there was anyone who barely survived, they suffocated. My sister Rosine was 11 years old. Emmanuel, the killer, told me, "your sister throw herself into the pit, before we touched her." My father and three other men survived the same attack by hiding in the store room but they were discovered seven days later and taken from the convent. The killer Emmanuel goes on "we, first, beheaded your father. Then, we hit his body with nail-clubs." "Why?", I asked him. "We were Christians... we were not sure if he is not going to resurrect and we wanted to stop that."

Am I still a christian? A convent and a church is a House of God and respected for that. We, as humans, are the House of God. Aren't we all created by the same God? Our call as Christians should be to reclaim Easter by thinking deeply about its meaning of redemption in our today's world. Thinking about this Easter one more time again, is redemption enough? Is victory great? How about a defeat? Hands in the air, retreat and surrender. Do you think victory is great? At what costs should we celebrate the victory? Isn't the blood of Jesus enough? What of our confession? I am not the only one in quest of truth, perfection and redemption. Someone in the film said "for a request of forgiveness to be considered, the truth has to be told, not half told or withheld."

I am a rose grown on a bed of skeleton,
What raised me beneath is horrendous and gruesome,
But what is grown above me is vibrant.
A re-birth.

My contributions as a filmmaker have led me to the United States by May 2007 and celebrated by President Bill Clinton and President Kagame. I once again come back this January 2008 and this particular life's journey is meant to be a rebirth and make as many friends as possible to help me to ressurrect what died inside me. A new friend told me "you really should write poetry again... maybe a book of poems?" My friend, following the genocide, I lost everything. Everything. Even my ability to write a poem. A Rwandan proverb saying goes "ujya gukira indwara arayirata", that is to say "if one wants to be healed from a sickness, he or she must talk about it to the world."

Visiting the visual archive of the SHOAH FOUNDATION INSTITUTE on 24 and 25/03/2008, I am much more speechless to my own pain. How can I compare my inner feelings with the survivors and the witnesses of the Shoah?

Tears were falling,
Like a rain,
Like the flow of the waters of Nyabarongo river
To the burdened blue skies of California.
Tomorrow is not promised to you and or I.
So, I give thanks to what I have as a life and share what I can today.

We, as humans, cannot compare the pain. We are even struggling with words to describe what happened to us to speak beautiful to the world. We, here, refer to the ones who have been thrown into pits, raped, heavily marked with machetes. We have no name yet to name this suffering. We simply can learn from each other's grief, despair and inspire new hope.

In the words of the SHOAH FOUNDATION INSTITUTE, "one hundred years from now, historians who do research about our time will use video as their main resource. In the future, the past will be visual." In my own words, without testimonies of genocide, there is no history of it. I studied history but what I learnt from the Shoah Foundation is not something that people study in university classroom. You have to take this journey.

For your own information, I am not going to make a mistake about it but simply admit (hands in the air) that the writing of my screenplay "MOTHER RWANDA" is heavily marked by my visit to the USC SHOAH FOUNDATION, I changed the trailer and the film original intent is modified. This fiction film is going to explore the oral history and is interested in the events that took place in Gitarama (place), 1994 (april to be specific) and a particular mother.

But first of all, I have to go to find a film school, let the mind and heart mend. Then struggle to raise funds to write the screenplay and make the film. I got the possibility of touring the USC CINEMATIC STUDIES and be introduced the best professors in cinema.

My friends, I saw my dreams bold and valid: ten toes and ten fingers. Visiting the school and talking to the professors, I started seeing the endless possibilities of my childhood dream that was stolen and taken away for me. One has to study what he or she believes. There is no bandages to fix a broken soul, heart and yet bones mend and cut heals. Healing of the non-physical part of the humans is an inner process through which a person becomes whole once again.

Through filmmaking, I am searching my own ways to mend my broken spirits, something of the power of creativity. I refuse to go to hospitals. I refuse to take tablets. I want to try and see this medicine for my body.

I want creativity to be my own medicine. I want to take that risk. I have an impression that by the way I used my film instinct has helped to establish but I would love to go further to unlock my limited skills and in this way, the skills acquired only in a world renown university can end my torture of silent sufferings. This is not something that people can see and touch, because it is inside. Creativity is part of all of us, but creative expressions ought to be nurtured and encouraged.

Besides, my father's killer told me "your father was my friend." What? Before I digest this, the other killer in the film goes on to challenge me "A film is not really that important." I had only wanted to have a normal conversation as a civilized citizen. He told me this after I asked him "have you ever been filmed in your life?"
Now, I am much more concerned by this profession I just discovered. What is the value of making films? I would like to challenge filmmakers of this world to help me to respond to him. This is the journey I want to undertake. I have a serious question to respond. The floor is ours and the ball is in our court, we the filmmakers of the world.

A colleague in the profession I admire, Stephen Spielberg, might have once said " there is a rescue mission involved in the best movies. A person is saved from his own undoing or what other people are doing to him." [James Clarke, Stephen Spielberg, Herpenden, Pocket essential, 2004]

[هي-جكد] [إستر] 1994, يطير إلى [ل.ا], [أوسك] [شوأه] أساس معهد [إستر] 2008
Automatically translated into Arabic thanks to WorldLingo
[غود فريدي], يجلس أنا في غرفتي في مكان ما في سبرينغفيلد, [ميسّووري]… [فر فروم] [كونترلند] ي. أنا بعمق أعكس على إصدارات يذهب فوق مع ي 80 [مين] فيلم "خلف هذا [كنفنت]".
إلى الخلف في روندا, راقب أحد ما أنا لا أعرف كان هو أيضا. هو فورا [إميلد] ي, "جلبيرت, فكّر أنا ك فيلم نظرات جدّا قوّيّة وأنا فكّرت من السخرية أنّ أنا كان راقبت هو على [غود فريدي]." غير أنّ يذهب هو فوق, "أنا تساءلت واحدة شيء صغيرة حيث في البداية الشخص يكون يقول "بعد 13 سنون أنا أريد أن يعرف" وهو يقول "[مببريرا]", مثل, "أنا أكون آسفة غير أنّ أنا أريد أن يعرف…" ساويت وإلى ي, الحقيقة أنّ هو يستعمل الكلمات "[مببريرا]" إلى ال [جنوسديرس] شيء قوّيّة, لأنّ لغته يكون جدّا مهذّبة. أنا أتساءل إن أنّ يستطيع كنت تضمّنت في العنوان فرعيّ… "

الشيء أنّ المشاهدة لم يعرف يكون أنّ كان أنا, المنتج أفلام, الواحدة يجابه واجداتي قاتلة.

هذا صورة [بلوو] الوحيدة مشرقة, طبيعيّة وتمثيل بصريّة أنا أتلقّى مع والدي حيّة. هو كان صورتهم متأخّرة يؤخذ ب [إستر] 1994. أنا كان قلت, "واجداتك على هذا صورة. أنت تنظر مثل أمك. "لا أحد يستطيع فهمت الألم هو سبّبني عندما [فور ث فيرست تيم], رأى أنا هو وكفاح أن يخمّن الذي بين هذا الناس كان واجداتي. "يعرفهم أنا, أنا يعرفهم, لا أحد يعرفهم على نحو أفضل من أنا أتمّ. أنا هم أولى [بورن] إبنة. "ال نفسه ليلة, أنا اضطرّ بجدّيّة واجهت أخي شابّة [سوفيور]. هو قال, "كيف يستطيع أنّ كنت? أنت لا تعرف. "أنا استطاع لم يصرخ أمام ه. كيف يستطيع ستّة [ير ولد] فتى فهمت إبادة جماعيّة? كيف يستطيع أنا علمته دون يخلق ألم وكراهية في ه?

[نوو ثت] اليوم, يعرف أنا والدي على الصورة مع ذلك أنا عرفتهم. الآن, يعرف أنا أنّ أنا, [أنس وبون ا تيم], أنا قد عاش مع واجداتي وأنا تلقّيت أسرة وأنا لم آت من السماء أو [بورن] من شجرة. أنا هكذا سعيدة حول أنّ غير أنّ ثانية, مسحت الابتسام بعيدا بالحزينة حقيقة ويلازم إحصائيّة من الموتى: على هذا صورة, [هوو مني] الذي بقي الإبادة جماعيّة?

في 1994, [هي-جكد] [إستر] كان في روندا. يوم الإثنين [إستر], يتبع هجوم, يركض أنا إلى جلد في بعض مستنقعات في مكان يدعى "[مو] [جشنغ]", المتنزهة حاليّة صناعيّة. لاثنان أيام, كان أنا في هم, في المياه, أبدا يخشى من المين كهربائيّة. أبي لم يعطنا قاتلة يستجيب إلى سؤال بجمهور على منظرته كمسيحية يقال "الكاهن جيّدة تربية ومثال أن يتبع. نحن سوفت لا يتلقّى قتلت… "

كان كلّ أعضاء من ي "[أفريكن]" أسرة مسيحيات. أنا كان عمّرت واستلم [ألّ ث] سرّ مقدّس. كان أنّ الذي أتى أن يقتلنا مسيحيات أيضا. هم اصطادوانا ينزل مع أرماح, سهام وقنبلة يدويّة. في أبريل - نيسان [10ث], 1994, عصف هم [كنفنت] وأخذ حوالي 200 [تثتس] الذي بحث مأوى داخل هناك. بعد ذلك, ال [هوتث] أخذهم قاتلات خلف ال [كنفنت] في منزلنا وباشر أن يأخذ حيواتهم. ضربت أمي وهذا 200 الناس كان مع [نيل-كلوبس] وخرطت مع مناجل قبل أن هم كان رميت داخل حفرة.

بعد ذلك, [بورنت] القاتلات نزولا إلى منزلي مع وقود وألهب الحفرة. إن هناك كان أيّ شخص الذي بشقّ النّفس بقي, خنق هم. كان أختي [روسن] 11 [ير ولد]. [إمّنول], القاتلة, يقالني, "ك أخت رمي بنفسي داخل الحفرة, قبل أن لمسه نحن." بقي أبي وثلاثة أخرى رجال ال نفسه هجوم ب يخفي في المخزن غرفة غير أنّ هم كان اكتشفت سبعة أيام فيما بعد وأخذت من ال [كنفنت]. يذهب القاتلة [إمّنول] على "نحن, أولى, ضرب أبك. بعد ذلك, ضرب نحن جسمه مع [نيل-كلوبس]. ""لماذا? ", سأله أنا. "كان نحن مسيحيات… نحن [ب] لم يوقن إن هو يكون لا يذهب أن يبعث ونحن أردنا أن يتوقّف أنّ. "

أكون أنا سكون مسيحية? [كنفنت] وكنيسة منزل من إلهة ويحترم ل أنّ. نحن, كأناس, المنزل الإلهة. لسنا نحن جميعا خلق ب ال نفسه إلهة? دعوتنا كمسيحيات سوفت كنت أن يطالب [إستر] ب يفكّر بعمق حول معنىه الإسترداد في عالمنا هذه الأيّام. يفكّر حول هذا [إستر] واحدة كثير وقت ثانية, إسترداد بكفاية? يكون نصرة عظيمة? كيف حول هزيمة? أيادي في الهواء, إنسحاب واستسلام. أنت تفكّر نصرة يكون عظيمة? في ما تكاليف سوفت نحن ب احتفل النصرة? ليس الدم من يسوع بكفاية? ماذا من إعترافنا? أنا لست الوحيد واحدة في بحث الحقيقة, كمي وإسترداد. قال أحد ما في الفيلم "لطلب المغفرة أن يكون اعتبرت, الحقيقة يضطرّ كنت قلت, لا نصفا قلت أو احتجزت."

أنا وردة ينمى على سرير الهيكل,
ماذا رفعني تحت يكون مريعة وشنيعة,
غير أنّ ماذا يكون نمات فوق ي مهتزّة.
[ر-بيرث].

قد قادني مساهمتي كمنتج أفلام إلى الولايات المتّحدة الأمريكيّة بشهر ماي 2007 وب احتفل برئيس [بيلّ كلينتون] ورئيس [كغم]. أنا [أنس غين] أعاود هذا يناير - كانون الثّاني 2008 وهذا حياة خاصّة عنيت سفر أن يكون ولادة من جديد وجعلت [أس مني] صديقات بما أنّ يمكن أن يساعدني إلى [رسّورّكت] ماذا مات في ي. قالني صديقة جديدة "أنت حقّا سوفت كتبت شعر ثانية… ربّما كتاب القصائد? "صديقتي, يتبع الإبادة جماعيّة, خسر أنا كلّ شيء. كلّ شيء. حتّى قدرتي أن يكتب قصيدة. روانديّ مثل يذهب مثل "[أوجا] [غكيرا] [إيندورا] [أريرتا]", [ثت يس تو سي] "إن واحدة يريد أن يكون شفيت من مرض, هو أو هو ينبغي [تلك بووت] هو إلى العالم."

يزور المحفوظ بصريّة من ال [شوأه] أساس معهد على 24 و25/03/2008, أنا كثير أكثر صامتة إلى ي خاصّة ألم. كيف يستطيع أنا قارنت أحاسيسي داخليّة مع الباقيات والشواهد من [شوأه]?

سقط دموع كان,
مثل مطر,
مثل الدفق من المياه من [نبرونغو] نهر
إلى ال يحمّل [بلو سكي] كاليفورنيا.
لا يوعد الغد إلى أنت وأو [إي.].
هكذا, يعطي أنا شكور إلى ماذا أنا أتلقّى كحياة وسهم ماذا أنا أستطيع اليوم.

نحن, كأناس, يستطيع لا يقارن الألم. نحن حتّى نكافح مع كلمات أن يصف ماذا حدث إلى نا أن يتكلّم جميلة إلى العالم. يحيل نحن, هنا, الأحد الذي يتلقّى يكون رميت داخل حفرات, يغتصب, بثقل يعلم مع مناجل. نحن نتلقّى ما من اسم مع ذلك أن يعيّن هذا ألم. نحن ببساطة يستطيع علمت من حزن [إش-وثر'س], قنوط وألهمت أمل جديدة.

في الكلمات من ال [شوأه] أساس معهد, "[أن هوندرد] سنون [فروم نوو], سيستعمل مؤرخات الذي يتمّ بحث حول وقتنا فيديو كموردتهم رئيسيّة. [إين ث فوتثر], سيكون الماض بصريّة. "في ي خاصّة كلمات, دون شهادات الإبادة جماعيّة, هناك ما من تاريخ من هو. أنا درست تاريخ غير أنّ ماذا أنا علمت من [شوأه] أساس ليس شيء أنّ الناس يدرسون في جامعة قاعة الدرس. أنت يضطرّ أخذت هذا سفر.

ل ك خاصّة معلومة, لا يذهب أنا أن يجعل غلطة حول هو غير أنّ ببساطة اعترفت (أيادي في الهواء) أنّ الكتابة من سيناريوي "أم روندا" يكون بثقل علمت بزيارتي إلى ال [أوسك] [شوأه] أساس, أنا غيّر المقطورة والفيلم قصد أصليّة عدّلت. هذا تخيل يذهب فيلم أن يستكشف التاريخ شفويّة وراغبة في الحادثات أنّ تمّ في [جترما] (مكان), 1994 (أبريل - نيسان أن يكون خاصّة) وأم خاصّة.

غير أنّ أولى من كلّ, أنا يضطرّ ذهبت أن يجد فيلم مدرسة, يترك العقل وقلب صلحت. بعد ذلك كفاح أن يرفع أموال أن يكتب السيناريو وجعلت الفيلم. أنا حصلت الإمكانية من يجول ال [أوسك] دراسات سينمائيّة ويقدّم الأستاذات جيّدة في سينما.

صديقاتي, رأى أنا حلمي يبسل وشرعيّة: عشرة إصبع قدم وعشرة أصابع. يزور المدرسة ويتحدّث إلى الأستاذات, بدأ أنا يرى الإمكانيات لانهائيّة من ي طفولة حلم أنّ كان سرقت وانتشلت ل ي. واحدة يضطرّ درست ماذا هو أو هو يصدق. هناك ما من ضمادات أن يثبت روح مكسورة, يصلح قلب [أند ت] [بونس] وقطعة يشفي. يشفي من الجزء [نون-فسكل] من الأناس عملية داخليّة من خلال أيّ شخص يصبح كاملة [أنس غين].

من خلال [فيلمّكينغ], يبحث أنا ي خاصّة طرق أن يصلب [سبيريتس] ي مكسورة, شيء من القوة الإبداع. أنا أرفض أن يذهب إلى مستشفيات. أنا أرفض أن يأخذ قروص. أنا أريد أن يحاول ورأيت هذا الطبّ لجسمي.

أنا أريد إبداع أن يكون ي خاصّة الطبّ. أنا أريد أن يأخذ أنّ خطر. أنا أتلقّى إنطباع أنّ بالمناسبة استعمل أنا ي فيلم غريزة يساعد أن يؤسّس غير أنّ أنا أحبّت أن يذهب أبعد أن يفتح مهاراتي محدودة وفي هذا طريق, المهارات يكتسب فقط في عالم شهرة جامعة يستطيع أنهيت تعذيبي من يسكت آلام. هذا ليس شيء أنّ الناس يستطيع رأيت ولمست, لأنّ هو يكون داخلا. إبداع جزء من كلّ من نا, غير أنّ تعبيرات مبتكرة ينبغي أن يكون رعى وشجّعت.

فضلا عن ذلك, أبي قالني قاتلة "أبك كان صديقتي." ماذا? قبل أن يهضم أنا هذا, الأخرى قاتلة في الفيلم يذهب فوق أن يتحدّىني "فيلم ليس حقّا أنّ مهمّة." أنا تلقّيت فقط أراد أن يتلقّى محادثة عاديّة ك يمدّن مواطنة. هو قالني هذا عقب سأله أنا "يتلقّى أنت في أيّ وقت يكون صوّرت في حياتك?"
الآن, تعلّقت أنا كثير أكثر ب هذا مهنة أنا فقط اكتشفت. ماذا يكون القيمة من يجعل أفلام? أنا أحبّت أن يتحدّى منتج أفلام من هذا عالم أن يساعدني أن يستجيب إلى ه. هذا السفر أنا أريد أن ب قام. أنا أتلقّى سؤال جدّيّة أن يستجيب. الأرضية خاصّتي والكرة في محكمتنا, نحن المنتج أفلام من العالم.

زميلة في المهنة أنا أعجب, إسطفان [سبيلبرغ], أمكن يتلقّى ما إن يقول "هناك يكون إنقاذ مهمة يتضمّن في الأفلام جيّدة. شخص أنقذت من ه خاصّة يفكّ أو ماذا أخرى الناس يكون يتمّون إلى ه. "[استولى على جيمس [كلرك], إسطفان [سبيلبرغ], [هربندن], أساسيّة, 2004]

The genocide that took place in Rwanda in April 1994 is not the first in the history of humanity but it is different from other genocides. Its uniqueness lies simply on the fact that atrocities were committed by Rwandans on Rwandans.

The genocide took place in the whole country. However, in the sandwiched-hilly place of Biseseo in Kibuye province, what happened is beyond belief. Bisesero saw the killings of thousands of tutsi, barbariously decimated.

“INZIRA Y’UMUHORA W’AKABABARO” is the name of the monument build in this place today in memory of those who perished in the atrocities that were committed there during the genocide.

In April 2005, a group of 66 youth, boys and girls, from youth organisations and civil society visited Bisesero memorial genocide site of resistance during the workshop entitled “THE PATH OF PEACE”.

We are here touring and marching in the name of peace. What can you say about what you have seen here in relation to this march?

We have organised such a visit to put the youth from civil society to meet the youth of Kibuye to educate them together on the culture of peace and human rights. On this genocide site, we came with the objective of witnessing how human rights were violated in 1994 genocide. We therefore aim at sensitising the youth about human rights due respect. Instead of being separated by their ethnic tribes, they should work hand in hand in order to overcome general problems they face. Unity and cooperation is the key for development instead of disunity that destroy the achievements of years of work.

What were the youth association that you have come with?

We have come with MEMOS association which has its head office at Kimisagara in Kigali, UMUSEKE association, SCOUTS and GUIDES. This visit is sponsored by ARDHO and the youth that hosted us are also grouped in local human rights clubs found by ARDHO.

At their arrival at Bisesero memorial site, those youth from different parts of the country were received by genocide survivors who explained to them about this path “INZIRA Y’UMUHORA W’AKABABARO”.

This path is called “UMUHORA”.

The place down there we have passed, there will be put pictures of people who were killed during the genocide and their killers, those who are known. Then here, each district of Kibuye province is represented and has its own room. Kibuye had nine communes before the war. Where we are now, this room represents three communes. The site was built before the government set up new districts. For example, let’s say that this house down there represents Gisyita district, the one down there is Gisovu while sa we go up, there is a room for Rwamatamu. On the other side uphill, there are other houses representing other districts. When you visit any room, you get to know where the bodies you have visited are from because people who perished here were from different districts and this is why we have given names to these rooms: Umuhora w’akababaro.

Are these bodies here of people who got killed in this hill or were they collected from other places and brought here?

People were killed everywhere in the surrounding hills, there is no hill that was spared. However, this hill is memorial because we could gather together and when weakened that’s when we could be spilt all over the hill. Then, people got killed on the way trying to escape.

Running away from killers?

Yes.

Have their bodies been found?
Some were found but others are still missing.

Why are there very few bodies?

Bodies found were buried up there, that is where cemetery is. There is a common grave.

This is where photos of people who were killed and their known killers will be posted.

Are there killers who are known?

Yes, some are known. People like Clement Kayishema, Musema and others.

The youth visiting the site showed a thirst to know what happened in relation to how the killings of tutsi in Bisesero took place and how they tried to resist.

What do you remember that you can tell us about social life during the genocide?
It was horrible. They destroyed houses and killed people until we came to live in this hill naked.

Were killers involved in looting personal properties or steal domestic animals you owned?

They stole and looted our properties. Starting with a chicken, goats up to cows. They removed iron sheets from roofs of houses. For tiles, they just broke them.

While fleeing from your house, could you be able to flee with some domestic animals, or they all remained in your homes?

We fled with them up hills in Muyira where we sought refuge before they took them away. We stayed with our properties for three days. In the first place, they did not kill many people, they were busy taking away our animals until they were all taken. We must confess that our cows saved our lives for a short period.

Where those Interahamwe?
They took cows before taking our lives. We faced big attacks when the cows after our cows were all finished.

Where is the Muyira hill then?

It is over there (pointing the hill).

On this hill, it is where attacks came from in all directions focusing this place where we are standing. We could then be surrounded. We were sandwiched here.

Is this hill called Muyira? How about that one?

It is called I… Muyira is that big hill which has plantations.

Is this road the path used by the killers during that time?

Yes, it is the road they used with their cars.

Whose cars?
Cars carrying Interahamwe from different places.

WereInterahamwe also with government soldiers?

Yes, in a very big number.

Where else were attacks coming from?

What I am sure of is they all came towards us here on this hill.

What about UN Peacekeeping troops?

I never saw them.

We used to hear that French army came here and met the authorities of the province. And also that we they came to see you the next day, that is when the biggest attacks came. Is that true?

Exactly. When the French army came in their cars, we all came out of the bush where we were hiding because we felt safety with their presence. We stood in front of them and told them how we were being killed. They told us that they would come back to assist us. I think, two days after they visited us, we faced a series of attacks. That time is memorial because a lot of people among us were killed by those attacks.

It seems they saw you were still many, and a lot of work had to be done.

They saw how many we were, they probably said that we were still many and a lot has to be done to finish off all the tutsi.

Were they really French soldiers?

Yes, they were French soldiers.

Were they alone?

No, they were together with one Interahamwe called Twagirayezu who guided them. He was a teacher and a resident of this zone of Bisesero.

He was a primary school teacher.

He is the one who was with those French soldiers.

What was he doing with them then ?

He was their interpreter. But when they asked him who had destroyed our houses, he said that tutsi were the ones who destroying hutu’s houses.

So, he was not telling the truth?

Of course, he was telling lies. He was an interahamwe. Before the war, we lived together in the village but our social relationship was not that good because there were always conflicts. Every time we were killed.

The tutsi from Bisesero did not die like sheaps, but they tried to resist and defend themselves although the interahamwe outnumber them and were supported by the former government.

When did the killings start in this area?

The killings started the night after the death of Habyarimana.

What happened exactly during that night?

During that night, they burned houses of tutsi somewhere far from here. We fled towards the hill over there in Muyira.

The police commander is the one we killed last. He was shot dead at the end of the month of June just the end of the war.

What about other authorities who lived here?

We killed them too, some of them. To give a good example they were at the forefront of the attacks and we killed them all. Like all the policemen from Gisovu and Gishyita, we killed all of them with their guns which they got from French troops and we took their guns. Their police chief could send them until he himself comes to see why they have not returned. Every counsellor could come with his policemen. We targeted mainly policemen because they had guns. There was a counsellor who was a tutsi and he was here in Bisesero: they told him to go for an administrative meeting and he never returned back. They killed him.

Survivors of genocide were from down that side in Mubuga and others were on this hill. The killers were from here backwards until a bridge found over there where there is water which is the natural boarder with Gishyita.

So, you came from that hill of Muyira?

We went over that hill thinking that it is good strategy because they could finish us from here as you see you can’t see the surroundings. We were on this hill in order to stop the attacks from up and at that time we were still a big number. Then, because we did not know their number, we decided to shift from here to there.

The youth also were interested in knowing how hutu and tutsi lived together and how their children studied before genocide.

How did you live together before the genocide?

You know you could not realise that there was a problem in our living.

Could you testify that they were intermarriage or hutu and tutsi did business together?

There was no problem. For example, there are people my father gave cows as sign of friendship according to the culture but they are the ones who hunted us and those who kept my cows during the war, I paid them. We used to see on how we could not be inferiour to them to save our dignity. They just changed overnight and that was all, in the morning we became their enemy number one. It was obvious no tutsi was to survive. Like at home, I am the only one who survived while we were twelve children. There is no single tutsi who was hidden by a hutu. No one. Whoever will give such testimony will be telling lies.

First, you have told us you used to cohabitate harmoniously but you never thought of going to a hutu to seek refuge. Did any hutu want to give you protection or rather warn you about the attacks?

No one. It never happened in this hill of Bisesero. They are now here, they can prove me wrong if I am telling lies. The person you thought could save you was actually the one hunting you.

How about those you related to through intermarriages?

No. There was no intermarriages at all. We never gave our daughters to them … only cows so that… we only attended weedings on both sides. We never married their daughters and we never give our daughters to them and for this chapter, I am 100% sure. Even those cows, we gave them as a form of bribery for our lives to go on. They were mainly given to authorities but not between poor peasants. For example, your employer or the counsellor, or the person like Joseph Habyarimana who was the Director of Redemi. Those are the people who received cows.

Realistically, we can say that there was no harmonious relationship …

Yes, there was no friendship; it was all done for personal relationship …

That implies that you were always insecure … tjere was no trust between hutu and tutsi …

Actually, in my childhood, I always heard from my parents that we were supposed to die in any form or fashion. They said that it happened in 1959, I was not yet born. In 1973, other tutsi died and we also heard that there will be a time when all tutsi will be killed.

Could people say that openly?

Yes.

Who? Parents or youth of the same age?

Like our parents, they used to say that no matter what will happen, if Habyarimana dies we will all die. Even authorities could say so. I remember when I was a little boy looking after the cattle, I used to say that when the war breaks out I will hide in the bush. It was always in my mind. That is to say I sent a little pray to God to save us from death.

How old were you when the war broke out?

I was 21.

Do you mean in 1994?

Yes, I was 21 during the genocide.

Had there been other conflicts in this area before the genocide, let’s say 1993 and 1992?

Yes, by then I was working in the tea factory. It was in 1990s and tutsi were threatened by that time. Listening carefully to songs by Bikindi on RTLM, no doubts there were plans to kill us. Another proof is that the Director of the tea factor at that time, Musema took loaves of bread and avocados and hid them in the bush not far from here. Then, he said that tutsi rebels had attacked Bisesero and said those were their provisions. He wanted us to be killed. It was in 1992 after the killings of Bagogwe and killings in Bugesera.

Are there people who got killed at that time?

Yes, in Rwamatamu and Ntembe people died. Killings took place in all areas and at any time. Other places like Gishyita, Rwamatamu, Mabanza: people were killed progressively over time. At any time.

Starting from what time?

Since 1962, that is when they started killing people. Slowly, provoking us, provoking and killing us. But here, this place was feared, that is why this area was not much affected. Even the killers said they feared this place.

So tutsi of Bisesero were not killed simply because they were feared?

The reason here we were not killed, expect only in 1962, but still we were waging war with them though they killed a few. After, killings continued and houses were burned in other places in the country except here. They killed us in 1994, we were attacked but also we were feared.

How old were you in 1962? Which attacks do you still remember very well when you were mature?

In 1973, I was a man but in 1962 I was a youth like some of you (pointing a member of the group).

Let’s take an example of 1973. Did you know what was happening? Were you married?

I knew it very well. I was married.

Were there attacks in this area?

There were not attacks as such. They came and then a man called Joseph advised us “ Go and burn your houses. If you burn them, none will attack you”. We did so.

In 1973, a man called Munyambibi had sworn to put Bisesero on fire. He took his gun but was warned byby his neighbours that he can get killed if he dares. He persisted. We injured him by a machete. The machete stuck into his shoulder and he ran away with it. He survived in the end.

Were tutsi killed here in 1959?

No. Those who died, it was in 1962.

Let’s now talk about 1973?

In 1973, I did not see anyone being killed.

Nobody?

Nobody. It is not that they had spared us but we fought and chased them.

When they came to kill the tutsi, were attacks organised like a village attacking another one or there was a specific ethnic group which was targeted?

All those coming from this side could say “let’s attack Bisesero”, those from Rwamatamu could also say “let’s attack Bisesero” and those from other mountains could say so.

Why could all attacks directed towards Bisesero?

The reason is simple in that there were many tutsi in Bisesero and so many heads of cows.

Was it like their zone? A zone of wealthy tutsi able to protect themselves?

Yes and the fact that all tutsi from attacked areas like Gishyita and other places sought refuge. The killers said tha”all tutsi have been finished off but those over there are strong, Bisesero is their own town.”

Have you lived in this area since 1973?

I have lived here all my life.

After 1973, were there any other problems?

There were injustice, looting, corruption like bribing by giving our cows and sometimes we were charged a fine or beaten when it happened our cows grazed on other people’s land. They banned us from taking cows to the forest for grazing. We were always giving them money to do that. This was their way of threatening and provoking us but they were afraid to come here to kill us, they stayed where they were.

As when those educated people say that genocide had been prepared for a long time, do you understand it clearly at once since you are the ones who experienced it?

It was well prepared long time ago. But on this hill, genocide was prepared since Habyarimana took power. All arrangements were systematic and efforts to kill us were coordinated.

When RPF Inkotanyi attacked the country in 1990, were tutsi been killed again?

Tutsi were accused of collaborating with the rebels and they jailed us in our respective communal prisons.

They imprisoned teachers and farmers saying they are ‘ibyitso’ (spies) of ‘inyenzi’ (cockroaches) accusing us of having the capacity to support the rebels.

I would like to ask about your children. Could they go to school or they were discriminated among other children? Did you send them to school anywhere or they were left in this zone looking after cows?

Do not talk about schooling! The children couldn’t go to school. For instance during the time of my schooling, even if one of ours could pass all exams, he or she could be replaced by a hutu child. In my case, I received a letter from the former Minister of Education, Colonel Aloys Nsekalije. The letter said “Mister Anastase Kalisa from Bisesero Primary School is allowed to repeat the final year in the respect of ‘iringaniza’. In our class, we were 30 students in the final year and our school did not use to perform well due to marginalisation and inaccessibility. Luckily, at that time four people had been admitted to go to High School. I used to be the third in my classroom. However, I was not among those taken to go further studies. Up to now, I believe I received that letter simply because I had passed and I had to be replaced by a hutu student who used to be the 24th while I was the 3rd in class performance.

Do you remember his name?

How can I forget him! His name is Sibomana. He lives nearby in Kizibaziba. He is the one whom I think replaced me.

How did you relate with your colleagues at school?

Our schoolmates knew all that. They knew they had to go to secondary school in our places no matter what would happen. Look, in a class of 30 students with only 7 hutus, 3 of hutus were selected and one tutsi was selected too, unexpectedly. Unfortunately, he was expelled later on from Nyamishaba secondary school. His name was Athanase Hitimana. Another one who went to secondary school in Rubengera got killed when he arrived there.

Who killed him, his colleague students?

At school, we knew that this one is a hutu and the other one is a tutsi.

So, he was killed by his schoolmates?

Yes, that’s what happened for sure because his colleagues in primary school he met there are the ones who killed him.

Before the end of that trip organised in the workshop “THE PATH OF PEACE”, the participants questioned the genocide survivors about their vision for the future life.

After what Rwanda went through, some genociders are in jail, others outside. Those in jail had left their families, wives and children at home. How do you relate with those people these days especially that the traditional justice system ‘gacaca’ is in its process.

Well, our relationship is now good in respect to the government policies of unity and reconciliation. There were sensitizations, traditional courts were well prepared, people were involved and they are now supposed to tell the truth. Also, the national commission for unity and reconciliation plays a very big role in helping us come together and heal the wounded hearts. Actually, we are now starting a new life, but it is only the beginning. We have now hope for a bright tomorrow. Nobody is coming here to threaten us, all children go to school and jobs opportunities are open to all due respect to individual capacity. I feel safe now, there is no more trouble like before.

Okay. That’s true. But let’s talk about this particular hill of Bisesero. You have told us that you grew up here, therefore you experienced all the events, the way they occurred and bore responsibilities on your shoulders. There is another person we have interviewed and he said that he does not see any fruit from gacaca and that he has no trust in it. As the proverb says that an old man is like an oracle, do you share his views? What are your prophetic words to the youth?

Today, very many people do not tell the truth as they try to hide it. Except a young man from that side who said everything openly in the public and said names of those who tell lies in the following words “even you, you are telling lies while you were about to kill me just yesterday because I hid a tutsi lady. It is your colleagues that condemned me but I was saved by a long time friend as he had mercy for me.”

Does this make you optimistic about a better future?

Well, we are happy for that. I wish if all the people were like this young man, things would be fine.

Please, allow me to ask you this. It is known everywhere even overseas that people who were in Bisesero showed heroism and courage. You fought people who had guns and won them. As young people, we are eager to know and we are like that we can share your experiences as a person who had been at the other side of the road of the resistance mountain. We had about your fighting strategies to resist the attacks of killers. Could you tell briefly the youth and other people how you managed that?

We fought with interahamwe without rest. They burnt our houses, chassed us everyday in all hills and mountains, they hunted us everywhere like animals and we couldn’t even breath. We first sought refuge in the mountains and fought with them. Then in the middle of genocide, we decided to stop fighting back thinking that they would stop pursuing us. We fled and then, they pursued us, surrounding us in all directions. We stayed, sandwiched in this hill, and we fought back. Ngo

I would like to ask probably my last question. What are your wishes or what I can call what you hope that can people do to stop genocide to happen again in Rwanda? What we have learnt here is that genocide started long time in the past but live goes on for the future generations meaning that this event is part of the youth heritage and we have to accept it. We think that what disunited people in Bisesero was a social life that was not harmonious. As a survivor, what can you give us as a message?

My wish is that people who had killed our relatives tell the truth and ask for forgiveness with all their hearts. It is “unbearable” living with them when they hide the truth. For sure, if one asks for forgiveness, one gets forgiven. If one comes and say “I am sorry, I am a sinner. I did worse to you but it is not my fault, it is due to the bad leadership.” We would close our eyes on that and we would be happy . It is shocking meeting the one who killed your family everyday on the road, who hides the truth thinking that you are unaware of his deeds while all we need now is the truth instead of silence.

In short, what is needed for genocide survivors is sincerity and truth?

Yes, I should add one thing since we are lucky that you have asked such a question. Discrimination in schools should be abolished in all its forms or fashion. We wish youth not to discriminate, learn your subjects, develop the country without discriminating tutsi, hutu and twa. Like the way you come here in a group … I think it is a mixed group. If you put your effort together as youth, our country will develop but if you start separating, you will be showing bad examples to your younger brothers and sisters the path to war and more sufferings. I have never gone to secondary school like most of you but I tell you : “Be exemplary and everything will be alright as time goes by.”

Among the youth participants in the visit, we received an opinion on what can be done to say “Never Again” to what happened to tutsi of Bisesero

After visiting this site, really it has been so stressful and frightening. It has been so sorrowful. And they tried to fight on their lives even if very few are saved by their heroic acts but we think everybody and every Rwandan should emulate on this action of Bisesero people. After having interviewed them, after having discussed with them they have told us that at least about seventy or sixty thousands people perished in this site. We are brought here, we bid but all of us are the youth, you see. We should emulate on this action of Bisesero people.

This young lady, present in the workshop entitled “The Path of Peace”, has something more to say, what she has learnt from this visit to Bisesero. Bisesero genocide memorial site is the monument of genocide survivors and resistance in Rwanda.

I have seen with my own eyes what happened and Bisesero people told us how it happened. If we continue this “Path of Peace”, sensitizing more youth like it is done in Kigali, this will help. As you have heard, they still talk about tutsi and hutu like it was in the past. I think this peace education should start at the lower level among the youth and teach them equal human rights. This is the only way to the development.

Our last question. What are your personal plans to make peace and harmony be part and parcel of our society?

My plan is to keep on sensitizing the youth from all corners of the country about peace, its aspects and effects. This is my plan so that things never be the same again as they have been.

After the tour in the name of "THE PATH OF PEACE", the youth observed one minute’s silence in the memory of innocent lives perished in Bisesero and everywhere in the country.